ive finally stop regretting
ive been doing many things which i deem wrong in the past four yrs. it's as if every step i make was gonna lead to a greater mistake. i always have the thinking that i've made wrong steps in the first 2 yrs of my sec sch life, so those mistakes brought me into worse situations which i forever cannot pull out from.
so during my sec sch days, ive been dying to get to a new life in a new sch.. ie let time past faster so tt i can be in jc.. And i was searching for a jc which i needn't see those ppl who are gonna demoralise me further.. yet, ironically, my ideal jc was where most would be heading or hope to head into.. tt jc had been my aim (though i didnt work towards it) which was even decided more strongly during and after my SY trip.. its the best time i had in my whole entire sec sch life, i would say.. and all those with me were all gonna be going straight into my ideal jc.. so of course i wanna work towards there, so as to see them all again.. i rly luv em so much!
anyway, so i of course didn't end up in where i din want yet want to be, but i dropped into a totally new environment. a place where i can be said to be totally free from those eyes of those ppl.
And overall, i would say i have yet to regret anything ive did right in this sch(: although ive busied myself with alot mroe activities, but im definitely a happier person with all the buzz.. more importantly, i think it's more of the ppl of jjc.. its coz of all my frens, i feel warmth and love, much more than how it was in ny. for tt, i thank all of u. for tt, i thank jjc. i shud probably even thank mr leow n mr ng. had it not been them promoting jj, talking abt the difference being in jj vs in rj or hc.. more ppl get the chance of being leaders, unlike the tough competition in those other schs.. (throw one stone, already a gd quality for leader) anyway, i was saying, had it not been those talk, i mite not have been inspired to decide tt i will take up more leadership roles. Had it not been the 01camp, i would nt be who i am today. so bubbly, so cheered up n even confident.
anyway, why i started mentioning this is coz ive had attended 4 meetings altogehther for today in the sch.. luckily all of which doesnt clash. yet, almost all the meetings show me more work i have to do.. it's making me feel like im having too much activities.. yet, im only silently contributing for some..coz im q nosey in the sense.. coz i want to make it gd if i want to do.. so although i am juz a member, i see the potential of the activity if i had the chance to do it.. hence i want to lyk do the job of the incharge.. but im seriously not thinking of snatching anybody's ricebowl. all i simply hope is tt if i put in 200% effort into doing the thing, i wont be denied the effort like not getting acknowledgement for my own idea though they adopting it..i dun need to become some big thing but just a little compliment for gd work, criticism for bad.. but i know i can trust this leader of mine.. i think she has some kinda same tots as me..
so anyway, i think i will continue to put in my fullest for the sch, coz one i find what ive been doing interesting, two,its a sch im thoroughly grateful to.
SYSW
