ending it
like what many have said, after today's econs, it seemed like we r into holidays already. yet, the irony is tt econs is not of utmost importance. we have seriously not done any of our h2 subs.. but im rly feeling holiday-ish. as in all relieved after today's paper. but somewhere at the back of my mind, i myself noe it tt i still have a lot to catch up with my maths, chem n physics. but just cant get dwn to do it, much as i forced it on myself a little.
anyway, while i was rebelling against myself in studying, ive cleared some thoughts. its time to put a stop to any miseries. hopefully. *.* haha. okok. no lar. at least on one side throw a safety net below me, and on another, build a fence. which reminds of of rivalry n excludability. sheesh. okok, econs over. ^^
so we are left with maths, chem, then physics. which reminds me, nobody answered my prev phy que! hah..mabbe its just coz i have only tt 'faithful blog reader' of mine. eh, sQuiD, why dont u answer my phy que then? heh.. okok, im being lame. probably too tired for having slept late for the whole wk. its time i rest as early as 11. but its already 1244. aiya, i missed my early slp timing again. sigh.. okok. stop crapping, finish the entry n slp.
so i asked myself some questions. n i tot, i noe i can stop. if i can stop it once, i can stop it twice, thrice.... the list goes on. im tired of avoiding. im tired of 'praying'. im so done with all that. by at least pausing, i can continue with the route i set out in jj n maybe up ahead.
going CrAzY!
promos is like one day away but the nearer i am to it, the more im not studying.. SHEESH! how? help.. partly coz i nv study wif my usual study grp bah.. =X jiamin, huiying, suwen, aiting, tommy, weihao, xiangyu, n sumtimes eric n yvonne.. where are uall?! arhh!! my only productive times are when im with all of u!
but my fault lar.. these few days nv sit wif uall oso.. sry.. neway, i wonder how many of u will actually see this.. but still, ya im sry.. felt lyk i ps-ed uall.. but isnt e canteen a nice place to study? (just tt it wun be complete w/o uall!) ok, first time im being so mushy..
so
Y AM I NOT STUDYING? feeling
restless. i do n think everything else but my studies. n im looking at my phone. playing game. fiddling when i have nothing better to do w it.
im
stressed. coz its nearing. when im stressed, i shun my work.. think n do everything else. n end up eating alot too T.T aiya.. tts abt it.. mabbe aft e exams, i'll be released from all this distractions.. even if im not, i'll have enuff energy n time to face them i hope. yepyyep.. we shall see how..
neway, no matter wat, im looking forward to go get
SUPERBAND CD aft promos! hopefully it'll be good.. ^^ but still, even if i get e cd, no use! i cant play it since my darling
Cd PlaYeR spoil le.. T.T T.T T.T
still,
MILUBING 4EVA!
原点 by 5566
another nice song! but shall not put e lyrics.. was more attracted to e tune than the lyrics.. though tink its q well-done too.. tink e tune is nicer than lixiangqingren in some way mabbe coz of e addition of e waves.. but lixiang. is a light song while this one's heavy lar.. different so its unfair to compare them anyway.. but another reason why i started lyking this song is coz of TFKC.. or ge dou tian wang (the show) love it!!
dunno y but somehow (to quote emily) "got the feel" for it.. the show somehow can relate to me v well, although it has not rly alot of common things w me.. its just somehow lar.. probably coz i lyk e female lead alot.. (sweetie de)
i mean a presently 18 yr-old, then mabbe 16/17? n her acting skills is lyk superb! i mean she's better than both wang ren fu n sun xie zhi lar.. (no offense but theirs wun rly real nor effective as compared to hers) yep yep.. so 原点 rox n so does TFKC the show X)
理想情人 by Rainie <3
穿上洋装看着手表
时间快到心碰碰的跳
和你的第一次约会来临了
金色的阳光洒满人行道
换了新唇膏把头发弄好
要你看到我的好
喜欢看你走路充满自信
说话时候你的专注眼神
温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信找不到有比你更好的人
你心里理想情人是几分
是否也会有我的份
好想知道你的100分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准不要让我一直等
听着那时间滴答的走
对街的你在点头
好像一个梦渐渐走到我前头
好想知道你的 100 分会给怎样的人
亲爱的你不要再陌生增加我戏份
我想问亲爱的你把感情升等朋友变成情人
可不可以告诉我标准不要让我一直等
always loved rainie.. but havent rly noticed this song while it was totally popular.. only until recently did i realise tt this song is so beautiful n rather sweet n meaningful.. (better if w/o e intro tune though =X) anyway, still love it alot! such tt i deleted 2 files of themes, 3 songs i tink, just to fit this 10 MB song in my hp juz now -.- (:
i dont count tt a tuition
went to tutor zy on tue. ps my pw leh. -.- n he attitude me summore. summore late. to tink i left hurrily-.- den when he reach, attitude me again.. wah.. want to whack him liao.. den at library attitude me again.. say y only u cum. get ernest here leh.. say what more topic to talk to him..wat more fun.. when all along i was talking to him-.- and we were supposed to be having a 'study session' lar.. zZz.. but aiya, dunno y i so nice let him bully me lar.. muz be coz i tink treating him e way i treat my 3 gays is e correct way le.. but of course its wrong.. n i personally tink i treat e 3 of em even better than zy.. mabbe coz im closer to em already bah ^^ or mabbe is coz they super sweet, unlike this ungrateful guy..-.-
go there supposed to help him in his chinese n a little of hist.. in e end, we reach, he throw me his chi hw, ask me do. WAH, im ur maid arh? -.- so of course i refuse do for him lar -.- den he kip attituding me.. cannot stand it man. but since he always do tt to me, i nthing to say lar.. he just like to be mean to me, but inside, i tink is nice de lar.. Den right, he kip bugging me to get ernest to come.. den oso ask for alex..ask him call em himself, he dun wan.. zZz so i sms lo.. halfway thru e sms convo, he decided, aiya dunnid le.. zZZZZz wah, i almost want to kill him lar..but dunno y im still so nice to him leh.. muz be the virgo privilege.. shitty.. hah..
neway, he at first suggested tml still wan.. but i rly dunno leh, if its gonna be liddat, i see no point lar..
n oso i v troubled by other stuff now.. den aiya, i dunno lar.. i mite not be free le too.. n he oso.. ya lor.. so moz prob dun hav.. gd oso lar, den can study mah
troublesome troubles trouble troubled.
-.- -.- -.- -.- -.- -.-oh well, just had alot of troubles today, n even more troubled aft chatting w my frens. everybody 's having their own troubles, their own problems. Me n my curiosity killed myself i would say. hah, and for why i say my curiosity killed me, look at the title again. tink its self-explanatory.
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! fan fan fan fan fan! haha.. hmm, while im so troubled by all those problems on my mind, im still haha-ing. but i noe sth's different. my mind's heavy wif everyone's troubles! almoz all e frens ard me. SIGH. my heart bleeds out for all of em, n for myself oso.
how i wish i can actually get rid of all the problems. rewind n not be concerned for these fellow mates. but i know tt wouldnt happen. coz history will repeat itself. coz tts my personality. since my first cry. ppl will say ba gua. but bleah, wateva~ u cant deny im concerned for em oso.. not as if i will spread the news all ard..
anyway, so i think of one person's problem, be it myself or not, i'll link it on. and the link goes on n on. to at least 5 ppl. n den i jump back. n den i link. aiya, it just goes on n on. get tt heavy-ness out of me!-.- and the thing is they are all troubled over similar troubles. although i can catergorise all of em separately, but still similar lar.. can link.. or mabbe its my linking skills. sumtimes im rly gd at tt.. sth ppl see no link, i link em real way. but anyway, argh troubled.
if i blogged yesterday, i would have say YAY! im free finally! no more pw. no more troubles. but aft today, im stuck again.. by other stuff.. tt probably has no end. zZz.. aiya, trouble trouble troubled!
totally upset - i'm such a disappointment
first things first, HAPPY BDAY BENchew! n of course we cant forget SUHUA, happy 17th bday! last is to LEONARDong, HaPpY early BDAY(: happy?
neway, so we had a bday surprise party for them.. in my opinion, it turned out a little shitty lar.. but still err fun? in its own way..haha.. mabbe coz its close frens bah.. not rly true for me though.. its slightly foreign but at least im familiar w e bday boys.. :] heh..n not much gals such tt after the leads came, they left n e oni gals left are me n the 2gfs.. neway, tink the 2 had fun lar.. which is e main pt mah..e rest, not fun oso dun care(:
neway, so while others were chirpy n high, i went bck frm e bday ting rather moody. n still am right now. its probably a result of mixed feelings. i mean somehow i decided tt will appear although it seem a low probabilty. i wonder y my thoughts eh?so i decided to have my shirt's debut. afterall the msg was waiting for its debut. so somehow i rly saw but kept silent. yet wat ive decided was correct. its sixth sense mabbe. hah.. but my plans together with msg was left undone. it is one reason im disappointed.. other reasons, probably shall be left unsaid. some concerns me while some concerns others.. but it all made me upset.. so im totally moody now
lurve to all
just finished watching my lovely samsun final episode. in it, she said this. lurve is not to be kept in your hearts, but to be expressed. people want to receive love however much they have received. this lurve does not refer to only one person but to all, friends n family. do not simply show how much u love them. but tell them u love them.
yet, such simple 3 words cant be expressed by many in the world. i would have to admit that i am one of those. i just think lyk 'sanshi' tt just put it in the heart is enuff. i may express love verbally more when i'm still rather unfamiliar w my fellow frens i guess. coz when close to certain friends, i think what matters more is the actions of love showed towards the close frens which cannot be found towards unfamiliar friends.
yet, from past experiences, i realise that as compared to acts of love, words of love seem more attractive to humans. coz acts may not be seen. it could really be little actions which people just miss out seeing. this applies to others but also myself. i do know of friends who appreciated me in small ways but i missed out on realising it. some was left as a regret, some cherished when i finally noticed.
so cherish everyone around u n always be on alert to note signs of love frm fellow friends(: n dare to say words of love!
last
okok, short n sweet. im finally starting tuition! after 'dreaming' for soooo long. since err pri or sec sch bah.. hah... no lar, juz helping out lor.. hopefully we can actually have a first session. pls be free on tt day *praying*
tts all bah.
reflecting character
i tink im writing too much post. one more after this. ie 4 for the day. but i want to tok about what i noticed and finally rmb. im failing in my character now coz im getting too overbearing. its time to tone down. ive told myself so for a few times now i guess. but the "take note" always do not last. longest few days? not sure. but yea, so this time, make sure i put it somewhere to rmb. it used to be the opposite, dun wish to open my mouth. now is open too much. so what i have to rmb is simply this. No one is right. I'm always wrong. this is aft a fren made a comment tt left a deep impact on me today. tink its not the first time e fren said. and im impacted each time but this time i rmb. i will. i must. so wont say much, but just to say, stop winning, stop being correct, stop theory-ing, principal-ling. yepyep.
n oso, stop having thin face.
n stop kancheonging.
the forever follower
oh well. i've decided. im just not cut out. i'm only capable to work, capable to think and give ideas. when im in charge, i'll nv do things well. not becoz i lack working ability but i lack the sense of calm.
i tink im probably overworrying all e time. so long its a responsibility, i take it too serious. does not mean one should take it lightly, but juz coz i see responsibility as 1000tonnes heavy. tt is y. and it seem that everyone can see it when im worried. probably coz i get too serious. now i noe better.
i must learn to take things easy. rly. im too serious in life. i must know how not to kancheong. responsibility aint such a heavy load. throw it out. so that i wont be so stressed.keep it cool man. kan cheong will not only get me nowhere, but it can even make one look weird. maybe i can start from my life. its time to not worry n scream over small stuff. all i can say is STOP wOrrYing! hah..
not oni tt, i think im too dumb. mdmsmsa already say she want the whole box, i still offer the teachers again >.< den worry was all written on her face tt my teachers would take a piece. but of course they were streetsmart to noe not to. so the only dumb one is me. not tt i havent notice. but me n my big mouth, thinking it being out of politeness.. den i notice the worried face on mdmsmsa, wanting to save the whole box b4 i offer anybody again. heh.. so i totally showed stupidity in front of my home'mistress' n my tchrs. what nice mouth i have. -.- sigh, can blame my kancheong virus yet again.. kancheong mah, den nv tink of the whole picture. kancheong lar, see how much trouble it has landed u.
even in playing ball.always kancheong. stress urself. den throw wrong. kick oso abit. nv knew what is stop ball. i tink both games i kancheong is coz i keep thinking the ball should continue to move all the time. i muz nv break that movement. but i hope now i noe better. hah.. at least aft the game on mon, though im still useless, but i understand how they noe where to throw the ball to pass to ur fellow players even w/o looking. its juz coz b4 tt u already see where all ur players are, n decide on who to pass is more correct according to their position and the attacks. hahah.. i bet ppl who play ball would laugh.coz its sth understood. but to me, i tink coz i totally oni pay attention to the ball n nowhere else, tt is why. but rly, now i noe better.
so stop kancheonging. if i cannot learn to do tt, forget abt any big shortterm dreams. even long term ones.
this is what i call LouSy
so its been a few weeks since the initiation of the mid-autumn project for our different homes. i gave it quite some thought, decided to do a puppet show.. more unique isnt it? yet i dunno where to start. and i have to admit i did procrastinate for long. just didnt want to think about it. there's loads of hassle and stress in it.
things were worse coz of the holiday cca. i had xtra members. in addition, i msged them to ask if they were coming. but i had poor responses. come to think of it now, i was tinking it was probably the way i phrased the qn. but im not sure. still, i called some up but either hanged up or no ans. T.T q saddening.. so no mood + no mood = super no mood.
and so because of my bad habit and no mood, i dragged n dragged n dragged. but its also coz i was brooding over loads of stuff. then lazy. so it draggged all the way until sat aftnoon when a sudden inspiration struck me. my childhood paper puppet came back to haunt me lar.. so i decided to use envelope instead of paper.
and so i really decided on that, bought the materials, holding onto a calculator while in popular, kip calculating my expenditure on sun. i tink i looked dumb.. but nvm. >.
.< n i was ready to slp when she woke up seeing all tt. ZzZz luckily she din tear my efforts.. if not i'll rly flare up.. coz im sort of proud of my puppets coz somehow i juz cud do it, which is usu not the case.. (not saying my puppets are real gd or anything,but its a not bad effort i tink)
neway, so ive been bz doing the puppets stuff, until today, the supposed big day.. not nervous, but i know i dun wanna screw up but i tink i did. i specially ask em to meet at 210 coz i wanted to leave at 210 to reach busstop at 215.. obviously we missed coz there were announcements etc.. so by 245, we were still at jj busstop-.- GG lo.. late like hell.. missed e whole teabreak. den e particular trainer was totally sian diao lar.. sigh.. already dun like me, still have to have further bad impression of me. i oso sian diao.. was totally stressed largely coz of him. neway, but yea, thx to my fellow interactors, how they rush to make tea, cut the mooncakes; how they help out at the tables despite not knowing wat to do n having lack of materials. Most imptly, how they tolerated my incompetence, for not catching up with lost time which i could have and others would have managed to do it.
to the particular trainer, i mean if u r displeased at me, u can always tell me in my face. not talking abt today. but since the first day i saw u. sigh.i noe i lyk to kancheong but as for today, u do noe there was not much time left, but they had to finish the puppets asap, N the other side of the table was rushing me to move on to the nxt step while ur side havent finish. mabbe im wrong to retort when u were mumbling"let them finish colouring first lar" n i apologise. but u understand y i explained tt most were done right? still im sry, coz it was my fault for everything to be rushed, coz im to be held responsible for everyone's late. when we left, u didnt even want to say bye to me lar. i mean am i tt bad tt u had to ignore whatever i do? everytime i greet, u just go by. -.- i noe im lousy ok. u din have to make me feel worse.
my most special prezz
guess who? haha.. its from my 3 cute scouts.. the threesome who start me becoming a paedophile.. heh.. i mean they are rly rly rly sweeeet.. haha.. when ber had her bday, they went to her house to give her her present lar.. den now it's my turn.. they couldnt make it on my bday but still make the effort to pass me the next day lar.. T.T totally touched. they even double check wif me first tt im free etc.. their msgs all v sweet too!
anyway, so what did they give me? a horny dog, spastic bear n a tissue box! XD
haha.. for detailed description, its a grey horny dog tissue box cover that had an opening at a strategic n sensitive place where they actually stuffed the mini box tt contained the spastic bear inside! hah.. this was handed out to me by fabian.. n den jn took out a tissue box!! hahahah... from his tiny backpack summore.. hah.. so cute lar deyall.. they really made my day.. its e best present i tink im gonna receive for this yr.. even for the past few yrs mabbe.. hah.. THX 3 gays..<3 dun be offended by the term lar ah? hah..
neway, den i actually bot a shirt for elijah..it had slipknot on it lar, tts y.. i tot it was q big le, but end up cant fit him T.T hah, den he say he go home n frame it up ^^ so sweet lar.. i nthing to say le.. heh..
just havta say im glad i approached them during sthwest campfire; im glad i plucked up the courage to ask for their nos to keep in contact knowing tt i will regret if i didnt; n simply im glad tt they are my frens, my supposed godbrothers, coz they nv fail to brighten my day.. (:
tribute to SI n the stingray
its been 2 days since his death (ok i should say 4th day since its past 12) n i would probably say im still q affected. but what actually motivated me to do this entry coz of an msn nick on the stingray.
"eat more stingrays! for irwin."
i had that urge too.. for the few days.. yet, i suddenly tot abt the stingray being innocent..
coz i used to lyk stingrays alot, until steve irwin's death.. which made me had second thoughts.. coz steve irwins is really someone so great.. one who risk his life to show us the greatness of our environment, give us knowledge of the deadly animals.. yet, after these days, having read about how he had actually died, probably one would have to say its fate. since its so rare for stingrays to attack, n for the attack to be fatal, then really, whatelse can we say other than it being fated for him to have passed away. i feel really sorry for what has happened to him n i m also deeply affected. but i have come to understand that the stingray was not to be blamed. really. it was probably just time.
sentosa trip
it was supposedly a live camp outing.. but i dun tink i will consider it as tt coz 6 out of 30? nonono,nt a gatherin at all.. luckily there was cluster F3 outing going on..so we joined in.. and i got to noe more ppl.. yepyep.. btw, so there was not much fun at first at least for the live camp ppl bah.. it was lyk 4 gals n 1 guy plus tommy who was wif F3 actually..when we came, the f3 ppl were going to eat.. so we were juz hanging ard.. the gals wanted to tan, so i sat dere wif them.. but tan was nowhere near my intention though.. hah.. how to tan in my outfit anyway? den dey came bck n things seem q sian still.. dey were all juz doing their own stuff.. since some of them were in water, i was tinking it was time to get in dere, so i asked but they din seem to intend to get in yet.. so i stayed ard wif em.. yepyep.. but we got to take loads of photos! can become a femalefour album liao lar.. haha.. so still waiting for ppl to send me all to become one nice album(:
anyway, things spiced a little when jeffwong appeared.. hah.. shud be some kinda host show lar.. den he doing those bridging parts for aft a commercial break or sth.. so he had like 5 ppl acting as and is crew behind him..and he's ordering them where to go.. n dug a hole for the last one.. hah.. q crappy lar.. den some guys suggested going xtra behind.. den i agreed.. haha.. but while we were all waiting for one another, alex n ernest went over.. den ernest was throwing the ball over, den go pick.. its damn funny lar.. but actually when dey did all those horny stuff, they haven start filming yet.. hah.. den when the crew was leaving, we decided to shout for fun.. wang jian fu wo men yong yuan zhi chi ni! haha.. damn funny.. den he turned.. hah..
soon after the crew left, mr leow appeared.. haha.. esther was behind.. then aft he dropped his things, it was immediately into the sea..hah.. so of course finally all were gathered in the sea.. den we played monkey.. it was the greatest fun game in there lar.. most of the time.. hah.. n its proven true once again.. laugh laugh snatch snatch.. den alex had a bad cramp.. tt stopped the monkey game.. den mr leow disappeared wif alex n i tink a few others were gone oso.. den a few of us played frisbee.. but was q sian.. n i was getting the sea-ness so i went ashore alone.. den aft tt it was all separate again.. until much later when mr leow found a sandcastle expert.. haha.. it started out wif a few of us running over to the sandcastle area to build.. we were digging sand lo..haha.. den the expert lady told us how we should do it.. den we were working on it lar.. then more of them came over.. until all was with us.. n we built this huge sandcastle.. coz mr leow wanted a big and 'grand' one..haha.. den all the nearby sentosa-goers all started to take out their cameras to take picture of our beautiful sandcastle.. hahah.. as if we were participating in some event like sand sculpture or sth.. hah.. but still, it was rly a nice big castle tt stretch from the middle of the shore all the way to the sea.. imagine the majesty of it.. hah.. den aft tt we washed up (so much earlier than usual probably coz we wanted to go ps) the washing facilities this time was much better than wat i had in my previous experiences lar.. or probably its juz my memory.. but im quite glad tt i got to take my time to wash up.. coz previously we wash up late n the queue was super long.. so its rush rush to hurry b4 its too late.. so anyway, its the cleanest i have ever washed myself in sentosa..
den it was neoprint time aft tt.. its q fun to have 14 ppl trying to squeeze into 1 tiny machine n den squeeze into the frame.. hah.. but we screwed the pics ): still its a memory.. ohh, den we 4 gals went shopping while the rest of the guys went arcade.. haha.. i got my first pmk shirt! q happy.. though i was still regretting at first coz i was rushing for no obvious reasons n it seemed like a haste decision..i simply agreed to take the white when i actually eyed on the purple one but they had no stock =X i mean i dun rly mind white shirts either wat, but i juz cant seem to lyk white shirt on tt day.. yet the nxt day when i woke up, i seem to be rather fine w it being white.. heh..
anyway, went up to the arcade n end up watching strangers "drive cars" while waitng for everyone to be ready to leave.. so in the end, those we were waiting for were streetfighting.. n e gals wanted to leave liao.. so i left with them.. which im q glad coz of some reasons..
ohh which reminds me, i feel like murdering some hu r irritating enuff to do tt to me >.< sigh, nvm, its over..
oh ya, i met hanyang at cheers although its such late night.. yep.. juz a small happening tts seems q interesting..
eoysy
on the pretchrs day, i saw atan n yibing.. while i was 'screaming' for sy gathering, they seem q pessimistic abt it.. they were asking me "why are u still so much into shenyang?" that kinda hurt.. i mean they din hurt me, but its q sad isnt it? i noe its been almost 2 yrs since we first met for the shenyang trip.. but still, i tot we were a close bunch.. to me, it was an important chapter in my ny life.. but it din seem to be so for them.. and i probably understand y..
btw,they were telling me abt how the guys were still lyk strangers w e gals.. its so weird lar.. i mean not even a hi? den dey said sth like bridgers san le.. den soccergang oso san le... jonny's got his own gang, den dunno wat lar.. it juz seem lyk everyone's gone separate ways.. its really q saddening to hear tt.. wat happened to that closeness? i felt so much like getting to hc, n get them together.. (but if only i had tt kinda influence ehz? hah.. nah..) but i dunno leh.. i tink if im in hc, i'll probably say hi to everyone of them when i see them.. but mabbe once i get there, i might get used to not saying hi too.. but i seriously hope not.. so im still thinking of an sy gathering despite all tt! i muz do it this time round.. after promos! i must plan out, book them early and get as much ppl to come as possible! gals mabbe still can succeed, but for the guys, i tink i'll need to get help.. >.< i miss them lars.. how can dey become like this? eoysy 4eva..
fickle-minded me
hehheh, decided that url angelswan still fits this blog better.. but since somehow i cant get bck that url, ): i decided to get sth nearer.. angelsuanie.blogspot.. doesnt look as nice..but better than seeing howtinkswork n seeing a dreamy skin.. yep.. so i moved again..
SYSW
